Behind the SHELP: Taking a Screenshot

Here at SHELPSHOT, we take pride in providing you with only the most detailed and helpful screenshots, so that you can plan your videoland strategies with ease. Many of our readers ask how our Licensed Professional Video Game Counsellors manage to take such precise screenshots.

Well, today you're in luck! See the step-by-step diagram below and find out how the professionals capture the most intense scenes from your favourite game paks!

Hot Help: Pizza Hat

In an earlier article, we mentioned that it might be possible to unlock a secret hat in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game™ for play on the Nintendo Entertainment System Control Deck. Well, our Licensed Professional Video Game Counsellors have been hard at work ever since, and they have finally uncovered the secret you've been waiting to see!

If there's one thing our favourite bodacious green Turtles™ love, it's pizza. In fact, this particular game pak comes with a free coupon for a personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut™! (Offer expires December 31, 1991. Void in Quebec and Mexico)

But the pizza fun doesn't end there. Certain levels of the game contain little reminders of the delicious pizzas made with only the most wholesome ingredients, as seen in the screenshot above.

By controlling your Turtle™ with the directional buttons, you can steer him towards the Pizza Hut™ signs, and wear the legendary Pizza Hat™ for yourself! While this secret item does not directly affect your power levels or extra plays, it will strengthen your resolve the way the promise of pizza drives the boys in green to defeat every foe.

For the best results, we recommend performing this trick while eating a nice big slice of pizza. Just don't forget to wash your hands before handling the control paddle. You'll never be able to defeat The Shredder™ with greasy fingers!

Hot Help: Treasures in Skyrim

The Elder Scrolls: fiVe is a medieval action adventure and dragons game for personal gaming computer consoles wherein you take control of an unnamed dragon hunter aiming to stake out a claim for fame and fortune. While you can do literally everything you can think of throughout the Skyrim Province of Nirn, one of the main features of the game is collecting mementos from your dragon-killing exploits.

Knights, Soldiers, Highwaymen, Peasants, Priests, Ghosts--even Bears and Bugs: all of these baddies will block your path to glory. They pose varying degrees of challenge, and all will yield up spoils of war relative to your level of expertise. Still, while gold coin, stronger weapon, and bigger armour are fine, you'll find yourself selling off most of it to shopkeeps for a fraction of their worth anyway.

Don't worry, these beat baddies are only sleeping until they see you quit the game.

No, a true treasure hunter knows that the item's of greatest value are often of incidental or negligible worth. While grave-robbing is a foul practice, it is common knowledge that the victor of a skirmish is owed exactly a tenth of the losers belongings, or all the items on their person. When the last foe falls, pass by those coffers of coin and spend your time amongst the newly dead. Turn out their pockets and take inventory: Who was this soul? What do their former belongings tell about their life? Chances are that these bandits aren't the richest individuals, but what worth did they ascribe to which items? If there is a semi-precious trinket amongst the dross, then think upon its meaning in that context. Piece together, as best you can, an understanding of the soul you just sent to Oblivion. Pocket their preciousness to keep in a chest in your home, and pass onward towards more adventure!

Hot Help: Pausing for Effect

Almost every video game lets you pause the hot electronic action in case you need to eat or go to the toilet (excluding Mike Tyson's Punch Out!!, which, being the most hyperrealistic boxing game pak to date, will not allow you to perform non-punching actions in the middle of a round).

But did you know that many action and adventure games also feature a secondary pause feature that can only be initiated by you, the video game player? Our Licensed Professional Video Game Counsellors have uncovered this amazing new tip which is guaranteed to significantly increase the emotional realism of your favourite titles!

Although this example comes from Super Mario 64 for the Ultra-64 game-play system, you can experiment for yourself and see if it works in any other game paks.

Simply follow the instructions below:

• After achieving at least 70 stars, Super Mario should finally be able to ascend the endless staircase leading to his final showdown with the evil Turtle King, Bowser. Unlock the door and prepare to ascend the stairs. 
• No cheating! Remember, this trick will not work if you take hasty shortcuts. 
• Rather than running up the staircase in a hurry, hold the game pad firmly without touching any buttons. 
• Take a moment to reflect upon your journey and quietly remind yourself what's at stake. Your adventure has taken you to the highest skies and the depths of the ocean. Without your dear friend Princess Toadstool to secure the magic shielding of the Mushroom Kingdom, the denizens will be doomed to a life of enslaved servitude (if such a thing can be called life). 
• Now you're ready to approach the final battle. Rather than pushing the paddle's control stick to it's furthest position, instead, slightly tilt the stick so that Super Mario climbs the stairs at nervous, but steady, walking pace. 

• The lengthy staircase, when taken slowly, provides further moments of reflection. The hall is lined with paintings of King Bowser on the left and Princess Toadstool on the right. This is the final battle between good and evil. The very balance of the world lies in your hands. 
• Before jumping down the chimney (pictured at the top of this article), hold Super Mario steady to push all fears of the Turtle Dragon aside, then jump bravely into the abyss. 
• You are the only remaining hope.

Good luck on the final battle! You may wish to pause for a moment of reflection again before descending the final drainpipe, and once more before touching the final Star, thus breaking King Bowser's dark spell forever. 

Hot Help: Lightening Your Load Time

This week's Hot Help comes at the behest of our readers who want more power out of their gaming systems. We get plenty of letters inquiring about the technical specifications of our cutting edge video game devices. Take this message we received through electronic mail:

Dear SHELPSHOT:
I really like my state of the art video game consoles--I have them all and must have played almost ninety games! I play them for the newest and most realistic electronic experience, which makes me feel like I'm in the future! I have a pretty big gripe though: Every game I play seems to take forever to load to the next level! Blazing through titles is majorly difficult when I have to spend sometimes over fifteen seconds waiting. Is there a faster game deck I can buy to cut down on my downtime?   

 James G.
Cheyenne, WY

Gosh James, we're sorry to hear that your control decks aren't able to keep up with your input, but this is the perfect opportunity to discuss an often overlooked feature of video entertainment: load time! Games will often, for dramatic purposes, cut to a black screen while bits and bytes are walked along the various information caches located throughout the electronics boards of your game consoles and game cartridge packs. While energy moves at the speed of light, these pauses or "load screens" are elongated to draw out the suspense of what lies in subsequent stages, or to drive home the ultimate goal of the experience. Some games even display graphics and minigames with the load screen.

Take the game program Tomba! for the PlayStationX: the main goal of this game is to bite as many evil pigs on the head as possible--an easy task for any experienced game player. But there is so much realism in the settings of Tomba! that it is easy to get lost in the beauty of the neolithic utopia. That is why the game designers programmed in a secret mini game on the load screen.

While you may just see a looping enemy screen, but this video of the loading screen shows the evil pigs tiled in such a way so as to actually function as an autosteroscopic image! By crossing your eyes just so, it can appear that the evil pigs are dancing out of the screen to taunt you, which may strengthen your resolve even in idealistic locales! This helps to raise the stakes of the game, making you more eager to progress to the next challenge. Hope that answers your question James, and thanks for writing in!

Hot Help: Become a Legend. Become a Ghost.

This week we bring you an amazing trick for the Animal Crossing software series, a game that lets you do all the things you do in real life! You can spend your time doing whatever you like, making money, catching bugs, making friends, and even losing friends.

From time to time, your friends will move away. Even if you've put everything into the friendship, you will grow distant, drift apart, and eventually you'll wake up one morning and they'll simply be gone.

We'll it's time to give your animal friends a funny taste of their own medicine! Follow the guide below to become a legendary ghost in your village!

• Play Animal Crossing daily for about a year (long enough to settle into a home and establish a presence in your community)
• After a year has passed, play Animal Crossing late at night, so that fewer watchful neighbours are out. We recommend 3am. 
• Empty all of the furniture, items, fossils, and other goods from your home and spread them around your house. Cut down all the trees. IMPORTANT: do not speak to anyone as you do this.
• Now for the hard part: don't play Animal Crossing for at least one year. Three is better. Seven is best, since seven is a number rife with superstition. 
• From this point on, only play the game in the middle of the night. Walk around town, speak to no one, hide from everyone. 

If this trick is done correctly, the village will be overrun with weeds as your sudden disappearance takes its emotional toll on all the villagers. Doubtlessly, you will have become the stuff of legends, spoken about only in hushed tones behind locked doors. And as long as you continue speaking to no one, your occasional appearances will only lend further credence to the legend of your restless ghost. 

Note: This trick has only be tested on the Nintendo Gamecube version of the software. It is unconfirmed for the DS, Wii, N64 and 3DS versions.

Hot Help: Anger Mismanagement

The inhabitants of Liberty City are pretty high strung, which might have something to do with their cars getting commandeered left and right. To keep things light though, Niko Belic likes to prank the citizens at every chance. You too can follow this trick for pranking all the self-centred citizens in Grand Theft Auto: 4!

Step One: Setup

After arranging to meet your cousin, Roman, pull up close to where he is in your car. Wait for a busy-looking pedestrian to pass in front of Roman before sounding your horn. The alarmed pedestrian will, in a state of egocentric rage, cuss out Niko for disturbing his day!

Step Two: Execution
You know that you were honking to get Roman's attention! Roman will know this too and get in the car, but the persnickety pedestrian will not know your intent and continue to chew you out for being rude! Quickly drive off happily with your loving cousin for an afternoon of fun.

"Cousin! We are prank pulling like true Americans!"

Step Three: Payoff
While Niko and his cousin Roman go off together, they leave behind a Liberty Citizen in mid-rant. With the object of their anger speeding away, the pedestrian's wroth words will slowly fall away into dawning embarrassment at their gut-reactions. They'll have been yelling like a crazy-person at you for no reason whatsoever!

With any luck their day will be ruined, as they can't shake the fact that it is their default mood to be so angry. They may not be able to immediately integrate that information, which will throw them into bouts of more misplaced anger and self-loathing. Just what kind of person goes from zero to blowing up at strangers at the drop of a hat or the sound of a horn anyway? The person may also be upset that they assumed the honk was at them--I mean, it's not like everything in the world revolves around them--they're nobody!

You have successfully revealed an ugly aspect of this person's personality and they will wordlessly contemplate the insignificance of their existence, dwelling on their inability of fully understand the world they thought they knew. Though they may not be able to articulate this emotion to those they are close to, they will carry it with them forever. Eventually, they may forget about it and keep having a short-temper for these things, but in their quiet moments on the bus or while falling asleep at night they will remember who they really are. And a hot flush will creep up the back of their neck and their stomach will drop as they struggle to expunge their silent shame, or at least to quiet their mind and forget again. What fun!!

Hot Help: Be Like Bond

Every video game player knows that if you want to really feel like you're in the game, a first-person perspective shooting game (FPPSG) is the only way to go. This immersive style of game is becoming increasingly popular with gamepaks like Doom and The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion flying off store shelves! Of course, one of the most famous examples of this game style is Goldeneye for the Nintendo 64 gameplay system, which is due to the popularity of the James Bond film series.

But did you know there's a way to stay in the game even after you've turned off the control deck? It's true! Just follow the simple steps below to be like Bond:

1. Play Goldeneye in a dimly lit room on a large television, or sitting very close to a small television. (Note: this secret trick also works with most other FPPSGs).
2. Play the game for between one and three hours (for better results, play longer).
3. IMPORTANT: While playing, be sure to use the R shoulder button to bring up your aiming icon as much as possible!
4. When you're finished playing the game, shut off the control deck and go about your normal routine (eat a sandwich, go to the bathroom, read your favourite video game magazine).
5.  If done correctly, you should still see the aiming icon wherever you look! Now you're just like James Bond!

The pictures below show what you should see in the real world once you've turned off your game.

Hot Help: Board Like a Bully!

On the surface, a game about going to school and studying hard seems like a perfect premise to unwind with after a long day of work: and it is! In Bully: Scholarship Edition (available for multiple interactive gaming consoles), you play the part of Jimmy Hoskins, a well-meaning young man who aims to make a good impression on his peers at his new school, Bullworth Academy.

While going to class to advance your education is fun enough, aiming to earn the coveted 100% Completion rate can be difficult at its easiest. Especially when some achievements are unlocked by performing time-consuming repetitive tasks, such as drinking 100 sodas or riding your skateboard 50,000 metres! Suddenly, staying on campus all the time isn't an option.

Jimmy is a smart cookie though, and isn't afraid to think outside the box. To unlock the secret-distance skateboard achievement, you don't need to board though the hallways to class and back. Simply cozy up to car outside the front gate and perform a classic bumper shine. If you're quiet and stay low, the driver won't even notice as you hang onto the back and they'll give you a ride all over the place! 50,000 metres suddenly isn't that far.

Jimmy knows that not everything can be learned in a classroom and isn't afraid to risk failure in order to achieve his goals. Employing similar attitudes is a surefire path to success, and is bound to help on the road to completing the ultimate 100% challenge!

Letters Time: Continue a Quest

Dear SHELPSHOT:

I've been a video game player all my life, but once my daughter was born (she's 4 now) I noticed that I had less time to play games. Working over 60 hours a week doesn't help either. That's why I want to tell you about my method for fitting games into my schedule.

One of the last games I purchased was Dragon Age for my Playstation 3 control deck. I had barely played long enough to complete the Joining ritual, when I became a father.

Life moves quickly as you get older, as I'm sure many of your readers know. But playing Dragon Age put me in a strange headspace. For some reason I was thinking about Dragon Warrior for the NES a lot; another game I never completed. I would find myself humming the Alefgard music to myself while walking to work, and I would doodle the funny slime character on Post-it notes over and over. And that's when it hit me! I bought Dragon Age exactly twenty years after getting Dragon Warrior for my ninth birthday!

To make a long story short, I started a new quest on my Dragon Warrior cartridge and named my character "Birthday". Every year on November 3rd, I dust off my NES and continue my quest for as much time as I can spare. It might be the only game I play now, but it also helps me reflect on the last year and quantify the passage of time.

Tomorrow is my birthday, and I should be able to play long enough reach the town of Garinham. I'm excited for my daughter to learn how to read so that she can help me complete my quest!

Kind regards,

Andrew Piest

Dear Andrew, 

Thank you for your letter to SHELPSHOT's Licensed Professional Video Game Counsellors. To answer your question, the powerful Silver Harp can be found in the Grave of Garin, but you will need a magic key from Rimuldar to open the door to the tomb. Gain EXP by battling many foes!

Creature Feature: Repugians

Hello happy Hallowe'eners! Samhain season is upon us and there is no better way to prepare for your night of celebration than running the Hallowe'en simulation game Costume Quest! Beware though, because just like the real-life Devil's Night, some houses you run across may be overrun by the candy-stealing capers of monsters from Repugia. These beastly baddies bogart your potential loot and must be defeated to send them running back to ol' Big Bones. Don't go into battle blind though; SHELPSHOT has you covered for a synopsis of these sneaks so you can get back to your Hallowe'en apples!

Grubbin
This grabby-Daniels acts as the forerunner of Repugia's sugar heist, invading your neighbourhood to pull classic snatch-and-run shenanigans. Hold tight to your loot-bag lest you knock on a door and wind up losing candy! A flashy costume is a pretty good defence.

Trowbog
Bigger and meaner, Trowbogs are harder to take down than your run-of-the-mill monster. They've been laying siege to suppliers of candy, cutting them off at the source (and skimming more than a little off the top). They have an insatiable appetite and have even been known to eat unsuspecting kids! Smack 'em with your candy pail to get the jump on them! They move slowly but hit deliberately.

Crestwailer
The bird-brains of the hallowe'en invasion operation, Crestwailers are overseers of sorts. They handle the things on outskirts of town, coordinating from the countryside. They're fierce and intelligent and but have a weak fortitude when it comes to working long hours without a break.

Are these all of the baddies waiting out in the world for you? Surely not! Try to seek your soul cake in groups, to be best prepared when you are least prepared. And remember: it never hurts to have a backup costume (or ten!)

Map Attack: Jumping the Flagpole

Plenty of other game magazines have shown you how to jump over the flagpole in Super Mario Bros. for the NES, but what do you do once you've achieved the one thing you've been dreaming about for all these years?

Only the vile servants of the Koopa turtle king would wander the fields of the once glorious Mushroom Kingdom without a map! That's why SHELPSHOT's hardworking Licensed Professional Video Game Counsellors have mastered the fine art of video game cartography.

Study the map below very carefully. That way, when you're ready to jump over the flagpole yourself, you'll know what's in store for you.

Please note: this map has been truncated for space reasons.

Letters Time!: Calm at Snowpeak

Dear SHELPSHOT,

I read your magazine all the time! My name is Ashley and one day I hope to write about the greatest and latest games too! I play games with my older brother Mike and usually tell him how to solve all the puzzles. We mostly like Xexyz and Harvest Moon, but our absolute favourite is the Legend of Zelda series. We’ve played every Legend for every system there is except for the ones on the GameBoy Colour. Every year, we go back and play through an old one just because they are just that good!

This last year, I found something while playing The Twilight Princess Zelda that I thought I should tell you about, since your magazine likes secrets and I think that this one is a doozy. My brother was busy at school, so I was playing on my own and got up to the Snowpeak ruins. I was just about to continue on with a quest when I moved to the edge of the mountain and the way the camera turned surprised me. I was shocked that I could see out over the mountainous horizon! 

Even though I played this game with Mike a bunch of times before he had never stopped to look out over the mountains like this. I had a quiet moment of reflection not just on the story of the Twilight Princess game, or really any other games I’ve played; but I reflected on the analogues of all games I’ve experienced with the life I’ve lived and the people I’ve lived it with. It felt like, for one moment, that I was really alone at the apex of the snowpeak, and that the mountain range I looked out over was made up of a myriad of possible pasts and futures--most of which I would never experience, but many of which I had the sudden understanding of how they were directly possible to achieve. I could almost plot a path across the pixels to some utopia of existence I had always suspected was there, but that I had never dreamed to know. There, atop the snowpeak, I felt my humanity laid bare--as though I were both completely empty and a compounded vessel of all things in the universe, simultaneously.

When Mike got home I showed him the level but couldn’t articulate the feeling very accurately. We kept playing though and beat the game in only one more sitting! Can your Expert Game Counselors replicate this secret? I’ve tried it again since, but the feeling is not as intense and seems fleeting. I’m going to try not to play the Twilight Princess again for a few years, and maybe when I finally go back through it, it will feel new and strange again! Love the new Magazine!

Ashley Megan Hill
Melbourne, VIC

Dear Ashley: 

Good find! After a mini marathon of gaming, the Licensed Professional Video Game Counsellors here at SHELPSHOT have been able to replicate your secret! We can confirm a drawn out sense of euphoric wholeness when taking pause at the Snowpeak in Twilight Princess.  

The presence of moments of protracted melancholy or rapturous reflection can become pronounced around particular portions of certain games, creating unintended anchoring points that provide an influx of insight into the unconscious mind! Taking a fifteen minute break every hour is a good way to minimize this effect, which comes about through a state of mind similar to lucid dreaming.  

These pockets of epiphany usually come in the quiet moments after a particularly dark dungeon or in the calm quiet right before a new leg of a journey. The nature of intended actions in games actually integrates a sort of surrogate experience in your mind, so maybe you feel like you are in two places at once: on your sofa and on Snowpeak! Thanks for writing, and for the letter art!

Can you find other moments of elongated ephemera in your games library? Write in and let us know!

Creature Feature: The Cave of Monsters

On the surface, Bubble Bobble may seem like a cute game, but never forget that you are guiding prince brothers Bub and Bob through the Cave of Monsters! The two royal heroes have been turned into bubble breathing dragons and they find themselves in a mysterious cave labyrinth. The creatures they encounter there seem like friendly kittens, until Bub and Bob get close...

Fortunately, our Licensed Professional Video Game Counsellors, The Dentist Brothers have uncovered secret information about these abominations. If you hope to survive the Cave of Monsters and have a happy end, study the chart above, then learn about your foes below.

From the top left corner:

Clank-Clank - An automaton whose clockwork brain gives it dangerously benign orders to walk and dance forever.

Whale Head - A disembodied whale's head that searches in vain for its body. Legend has it that YOU have it, or so say the whisperings of your enemies!

Ghost Grab - A dark wizard who lurches forward in the darkness to tighten his magical grip on our heroes. Stop him before he stops you!

Hat - A flying, cursed hat.

Light Bulb - An enchanted lightbulb that uses its plug as a sort of spring. If he touches you, you're in for a nasty shock. Got any bright ideas?

Alien - It is possible that there are an infinite number of universes, inhabited by an infinite number of variations on the creatures we know. Alien is a Clank-Clank from a technologically superiour parallel dimension, so watch out for his laser beams. See to it that he never gets back through the inter-dimensional vortex!

Grungie - First discovered by Dentist Brother Jonah, little is known about the Grungie except that he lurks just out of the corner of your eye. Don't look!

Drunk - One of the most dangerous enemies in the game. He throws bottles of ketchup at you. Good thing he isn't bigger!

Moby Dick - an albino sperm whale that is obsessively pursued by Captain Ahab. Captain Ahab wants revenge on Moby Dick for taking his leg-- help him be avenged!

Creature Feature: The Face of Drancon

Wonder Boy has gone on many island adventures over the years, but one of the most severe circumstances he has ever faced must be in the Revenge of Drancon for your Sega's Game Gear. Having thwarted the over-reaching nobel Drancon in a previous journey, Wonder Boy is amazed to find that your efforts were for naught!

The evil giant Drancon is revealed to be a shapeshifter and is able to adeptly don to visage of his fallen foes! There are many powerful heroes who have fallen to this cunning facewalker, and whose abilities now serve the evil they sought to surmount. As Wonder Boy attempts a coup against the ruined holdings of fallen empires, Drancon reveals that stronger and stronger warrior beasts have had their faces stolen by his magic. Will the true form of Drancon ever be revealed, or is he in fact faceless? It is up to you and Wonder Boy to find the answer! 

Study close these faces, Islander, and dwell on their old masters' defeat, lest your own face be counted among their numbers!

Hot Help: A Mario Graffiti

In Super Mario Bros. for the NES, our hero Mario must overcome the evil Koopa turtle tribe and their dark magic. They have conquered the Mushroom Kingdom and transformed its denizens, the Mushroom People, into inanimate objects such as stones, horse-hair plants, and even certain bricks. 

As Mario takes back each county of the Mushroom Kingdom, it's VERY important for him to leave messages of rebellion to the cursed Mushroom People. Each time Mario takes down a flag of the enemy, it gives everyone hope that the Great Koopa Turtle King will be overthrown, restoring peace to the land.

But did you know that there are other ways Mario can spread the spirit of resistance? It's true! Due to Mario's brave exploits he has become a symbol of defiance. Even a hastily made representation of his visage is enough to steel the nerves of the Mushroom People, and strike terror into the black hearts of the Koopa turtle tribe.

In the screen above, Super (big) Mario can carve the bricks into such an image. Don't worry! Not all bricks are transformed Mushroom people! Follow the diagram below to leave a picture of Mario for all to see; a message for your enemies, but more importantly for your allies.

Don't forget to grab the Power Boost reward when you free the Mushroom Person from the block that comprises Mario's eye.

Creature Feature: Punkers and New Wavers

The futuristic post-collapse world of Wasteland is full of mutants and cyborgs and automatons that provide an ultimate challenge for even the most experienced squad of Desert Rangers and conscripts. But this Creature Feature is not about challenge!

Punkers and New Wavers run rampent in the irradiated deserts of Nevada, but there is little to fear from theses fashion-conscious foes. More concerned with posturing and pumping their old-world jams than putting up a good fight, these punkers pack a pretty pitiful punch! Behind these meshed-muscle-flexing meatheads is little in the way of challenge for fully trained Desert Rangers. 

Punkers and New Wavers talk big and brandish butterfly blades, but this is a front to hide the fact that they are wasteland wanderers like the rest of the survivors in the world. If you were to remove their sweet shades you would be met by a weary stare and see the same sad-eyed gaze of a powerless person, adrift but not yet drowned in an ocean of happenstance. What events conspired to force them to be born into a world already claimed and destroyed by the overreaching greed of others who came before, now long dead? What choice do they have to lash out and attempt to claim the little that luck had left them? How many of their raider ilk perish while trying simply to make a living?

It almost makes you feel bad for blasting them to oblivion with your lasguns and meson canons.

Hot Help: I Spit on Your Grave

Teenage Mutant Turtles II: The Arcade Game™for the NES is a superior version of the popular coin-op. Not only is the screen less cluttered by all the superfluous turtles and Foot Clan™ baddies, but the game boasts two extra levels not available in the arcade version!

There's plenty of ninja action to be had, but sometimes the endless stream of Foot™ soldiers, rock monsters and the ghosts of deceased shogunate leaders housed in robot bodies can make a turtle want to recede into his shell. That's why our Licensed Professional Video Game Counsellors uncovered this Hot Help, which will make sure all you turtles out there have the heartened spirit to continue your Mouser™-mashing journey!

You've probably used "taunt" techniques in other great game paks like Super Smash Bros. "Taunting" is not only a great way to diminish the confidence of your opponents, but it's also a way to make your heart feel a little stouter.

In Scene 2 of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game, the rad reptiles use whatever weapons they can find to defeat their foes. You can see in the above picture that Raph is clobbering his opponent by smashing a fire hydrant. But if you direct Raph to stand in front of the spurting hydrant, you get this effect:

It looks just like Raph is spitting on the charred metal remains of his dishonoured opponent! This is sure to enrage the Foot Soldier™'s remaining brethren, while simultaneously weakening their constitution and resolve.

If you are playing a two-player game, this is also an excellent way to "taunt" the other player when you reach a higher score than him!

In an upcoming edition of Hot Help, we'll show you how to find a secret hat for your turtle to wear. Think you can find it before us? Write us a letter and prove it!

A Ghostly Nightmare

A favourite character of Nintendo is Kirby the hungry ghost. It is doomed to forever live in an unwaking dream where, ever hungry, its meals turn to a hottest-burning flame in its mouth.

Flame and ash are all that remains of what the hungry ghost attempts to eat.

But still, it hungers and tries to devour even the good souls that wander unwaking.

No dreamer can escape its apetite.

It is a mystery, perhaps even to the ghost, why it must wander down familiar paths, wreaking havoc as it satisfies its own hunger and always attempts to awaken.

The hungry ghost confronts the Jack in the Green

Hot Help: Calm Before the Storm

The story of Mega Man 3 is one of betrayal and quiet contemplation. This time, in order to complete all the bosses, Mega Man will have to actually trust his old foe, Dr. Wily, who has renounced evil for good! Mega Man's quest finds him collecting all the special elements from the eight robot planets so that Dr. Wily and Dr. Light can build the peace robot, Gamma. 

However, after triumphing over the eight robots, Mega Man finds that he must re-visit each planet-- each now ruled by eight "Doc Robots" which house the robotic souls of enemies defeated in Mega Man's previous adventure! Is Mega Man's memory malfunctioning? Can consciousness continue if the body is destroyed? What is the nature of good in a robot that has merely been programmed to be good? What is free will, and does it really exist? 

Mega Man's circuits almost overheat as he contemplates these questions, moving down linear corridors, unable to deviate from his destructive course. Luckily, in the revisited Gemini Man stage, Mega Man is given an opportunity to contemplate such questions.

You can use the room above to consider such questions for yourself. The Pros here at SHELPSHOT recommend you slowly expunge all your weapons and items in this room, one after another (excluding Shadow Blade, which you will need to defeat Doc Robot Bubble Man in the next room!)

As you deplete each weapon, allow yourself to meditate upon the blinking colours of the robo-coral. Focus on the bubbles floating near the surface-- is there a hidden message or is it simply your brain attempting to make sense of a repeating pattern?

Be sure to allow the Search Snakes to climb up the ladder. This weapon was once so useful for defeating Gemini Man, but now it is just another reminder of the robot lives that have been terminated. Free the Search Snakes so that some small part of the robotic souls you have collected may now freely use up their remaining power cells as they will.

Hot Help: Snot a Problem

In Super Mario Brothers 3, the once wicked wizard toadstool has been priorly foiled and is still indentured to Super Mario and his younger brother Luigi. But the Super Mario Brothers haven't forgotten about his wicked ways just yet! The Super Mario Brothers still tend to punish the wizard with harmless pranks to keep him subservient while he pays for his crimes. Here is a super-gross one:

Before requisitioning one of the wizard toadstool's treasures from his fungal abode is the perfect time to strike! Enter the toadstool house while wielding an enchantment bestowed by a blooming flower fire. Pretend to throw a fireball inside the wizard's highly-flammable home. When he jumps in fear, Super Mario or his younger brother Luigi will instead hurl a super-booger at their once villainous acquaintance! Very funny Super Mucus Brothers! How long is that going to take to clean up?

(Special Tip! This secret taunt only works on the gamepak for the Nintendo Entertainment System. On the Nintendo All*Stars gamepak for the Super NES, the toadstool wizard has been up to his old treacherous tricks, so Super Mario and his younger brother Luigi will simply biff the weird wizard in the face if they get close enough while powered up. Give it a try!)

Letters Time: Massively Effective

Dear SHELPSHOT:

I am a 38 year old construction worker from Providence, RI. I also dabble in drawing a little, and my secret hope is to one day be hired to design a game pak instruction manual.

Anyway, I grew up reading SHELPSHOT, but this is the first time I've ever written a letter to you. My favorite game paks are Commander Keen: Goodbye Galaxy!, Mass Effect 1 and 3, and Angry Birds in Space.

Mass Effect is actually the reason I'm writing to you today. I usually work 12 hour days, then go home and play games for a while before going to bed. Around the time the first Mass Effect game came out, my boss moved me to a new construction site with a bunch of workers I didn't really know. No big deal, except that the new foreman made life miserable for all of the workers. He accused us of using drugs on site, even though I definitely tell people not to use drugs (not just for health reasons, but because it lowers your high scores). I was very unhappy, and I found myself feeling very lonely and out of place.

It was satisfying to go home to Mass Effect, exploring unfamiliar planets, and interacting with strange peoples. I wished I was more like Commander Shepherd in real life (except not a lady!)

Then one night, I was playing and I reached a high enough experience score to visit the Local Cluster. There was something about seeing my own little planet amidst the familiar sights of Sol and Luna that touched me deeply. After spending so much time in unfamiliar settings both at my day job and within the gamescape, I was almost moved to tears by something so simultaneously familiar and distant.

While I'm writing, there should be a Mass Effect game where Wrex can be commander of the Normandy. Wrex is the best!

Sincerely,

Gary Thompson
Providence, RI

Thanks for writing Gary! Wrex was unavailable for comment, but we'll make sure he sees your fantastic envelope artwork-- providing he doesn't try to eat it first! We agree, the Mass Effect series is wonderful, but doing drugs can seriously hurt even a professional game player's scores. Here's hoping your coworkers will soon realize that you can't zap all the Reapers if you're zapping your brain with dope. See you in the Local Cluster!

Creature Feature: Weird Woods

Many strange beings roam the role-playing world of Lunar: the Silver Star, and in this Creature Feature we're looking at one of the strangest grungies in all of Sega's CD System! Read on, brave adventurer!

The Weird Woods east of the village of Burg are... well, weird! This is because a witch once worked her Weirding wishes upon the blue waters that run through it, transforming nature itself into an ill force that is able to present an ultimate challenge early in an adventurer's journey! Actually, it was one of the labours of the soon-to-be-Dragonmaster Dyne to defeat the devious villain of the woods, though the magics of the Weirding Witch couldn't be fully undone. This zone stands as a boss-less dungeon best steered clear of until achieving higher mastery of your arts. And this is the reason why:

Yikes! This frightening baddie is Xombi Mud, made of a lost soul magically enchanted by dirt and waters, of which the Weird Woods have an unlimited supply. Be careful--this dirt-y dissenter can't be reasoned with and cares only for its next meal! Xombi Mud packs a powerful punch, and is able to climb out of any patch of mud at a whim making it efficient in the chase. Because it used to be a human body, it is followed by mutant flies expecting a meal of their own. Is it even possible for Alex of Burg overcome this mysterious foe? Or does defeat seem certain in the face of this Weirdest wanderer? Let us know if you've escaped from this mighty challenge!

Hot Help: Secret of the Sphinx

There's no doubt Bugs Bunny is one of the most beloved cartoon characters of all time, and what better way to celebrate his big fiftieth birthday than with the Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowout game pak for the NES? This wonderful game perfectly captures the incorrigible humour of the animated shorts with graphics so amazing, it's almost like playing a cartoon!

But if you get tired of playing funny tricks on Elmer and the gang, there are still many secrets hidden throughout the game's levels. For example, did you know about the Secret of the Sphinx in the desert level? 

Be warned! This is a great way to fool your friends or brother...

Just like the sphinxes scattered across Egypt in real life, the sphinxes in Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowout are mysterious and wonderful. Also, just like real sphinxes, they are easily broken with a hammer.

It's a well known fact that sphinxes always face the same direction in this game, so if you come across two sphinxes close together, use Bugs's magic hammer to destroy the middle portion. If you do it correctly, you can then call your brother into the room and tell him that you discovered an extra large sphinx in the game. Tell him that you had to destroy it to get the vegetables hidden below and show him the remains. Now watch as he tries to imagine the elongated statue that surely fell victim to your mighty hammer! 

Can you find all the areas in the game where this is possible? Are there more secrets you can uncover by smashing things with Bugs's magic hammer? Write in and tell us about it, and don't forget to include more of that amazing envelope art!