Hot Help: Be Like Bond

Every video game player knows that if you want to really feel like you're in the game, a first-person perspective shooting game (FPPSG) is the only way to go. This immersive style of game is becoming increasingly popular with gamepaks like Doom and The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion flying off store shelves! Of course, one of the most famous examples of this game style is Goldeneye for the Nintendo 64 gameplay system, which is due to the popularity of the James Bond film series.

But did you know there's a way to stay in the game even after you've turned off the control deck? It's true! Just follow the simple steps below to be like Bond:

1. Play Goldeneye in a dimly lit room on a large television, or sitting very close to a small television. (Note: this secret trick also works with most other FPPSGs).
2. Play the game for between one and three hours (for better results, play longer).
3. IMPORTANT: While playing, be sure to use the R shoulder button to bring up your aiming icon as much as possible!
4. When you're finished playing the game, shut off the control deck and go about your normal routine (eat a sandwich, go to the bathroom, read your favourite video game magazine).
5.  If done correctly, you should still see the aiming icon wherever you look! Now you're just like James Bond!

The pictures below show what you should see in the real world once you've turned off your game.

Hot Help: Board Like a Bully!

On the surface, a game about going to school and studying hard seems like a perfect premise to unwind with after a long day of work: and it is! In Bully: Scholarship Edition (available for multiple interactive gaming consoles), you play the part of Jimmy Hoskins, a well-meaning young man who aims to make a good impression on his peers at his new school, Bullworth Academy.

While going to class to advance your education is fun enough, aiming to earn the coveted 100% Completion rate can be difficult at its easiest. Especially when some achievements are unlocked by performing time-consuming repetitive tasks, such as drinking 100 sodas or riding your skateboard 50,000 metres! Suddenly, staying on campus all the time isn't an option.

Jimmy is a smart cookie though, and isn't afraid to think outside the box. To unlock the secret-distance skateboard achievement, you don't need to board though the hallways to class and back. Simply cozy up to car outside the front gate and perform a classic bumper shine. If you're quiet and stay low, the driver won't even notice as you hang onto the back and they'll give you a ride all over the place! 50,000 metres suddenly isn't that far.

Jimmy knows that not everything can be learned in a classroom and isn't afraid to risk failure in order to achieve his goals. Employing similar attitudes is a surefire path to success, and is bound to help on the road to completing the ultimate 100% challenge!

Letters Time: Continue a Quest

Dear SHELPSHOT:

I've been a video game player all my life, but once my daughter was born (she's 4 now) I noticed that I had less time to play games. Working over 60 hours a week doesn't help either. That's why I want to tell you about my method for fitting games into my schedule.

One of the last games I purchased was Dragon Age for my Playstation 3 control deck. I had barely played long enough to complete the Joining ritual, when I became a father.

Life moves quickly as you get older, as I'm sure many of your readers know. But playing Dragon Age put me in a strange headspace. For some reason I was thinking about Dragon Warrior for the NES a lot; another game I never completed. I would find myself humming the Alefgard music to myself while walking to work, and I would doodle the funny slime character on Post-it notes over and over. And that's when it hit me! I bought Dragon Age exactly twenty years after getting Dragon Warrior for my ninth birthday!

To make a long story short, I started a new quest on my Dragon Warrior cartridge and named my character "Birthday". Every year on November 3rd, I dust off my NES and continue my quest for as much time as I can spare. It might be the only game I play now, but it also helps me reflect on the last year and quantify the passage of time.

Tomorrow is my birthday, and I should be able to play long enough reach the town of Garinham. I'm excited for my daughter to learn how to read so that she can help me complete my quest!

Kind regards,

Andrew Piest

Dear Andrew, 

Thank you for your letter to SHELPSHOT's Licensed Professional Video Game Counsellors. To answer your question, the powerful Silver Harp can be found in the Grave of Garin, but you will need a magic key from Rimuldar to open the door to the tomb. Gain EXP by battling many foes!

Creature Feature: Repugians

Hello happy Hallowe'eners! Samhain season is upon us and there is no better way to prepare for your night of celebration than running the Hallowe'en simulation game Costume Quest! Beware though, because just like the real-life Devil's Night, some houses you run across may be overrun by the candy-stealing capers of monsters from Repugia. These beastly baddies bogart your potential loot and must be defeated to send them running back to ol' Big Bones. Don't go into battle blind though; SHELPSHOT has you covered for a synopsis of these sneaks so you can get back to your Hallowe'en apples!

Grubbin
This grabby-Daniels acts as the forerunner of Repugia's sugar heist, invading your neighbourhood to pull classic snatch-and-run shenanigans. Hold tight to your loot-bag lest you knock on a door and wind up losing candy! A flashy costume is a pretty good defence.

Trowbog
Bigger and meaner, Trowbogs are harder to take down than your run-of-the-mill monster. They've been laying siege to suppliers of candy, cutting them off at the source (and skimming more than a little off the top). They have an insatiable appetite and have even been known to eat unsuspecting kids! Smack 'em with your candy pail to get the jump on them! They move slowly but hit deliberately.

Crestwailer
The bird-brains of the hallowe'en invasion operation, Crestwailers are overseers of sorts. They handle the things on outskirts of town, coordinating from the countryside. They're fierce and intelligent and but have a weak fortitude when it comes to working long hours without a break.

Are these all of the baddies waiting out in the world for you? Surely not! Try to seek your soul cake in groups, to be best prepared when you are least prepared. And remember: it never hurts to have a backup costume (or ten!)

Map Attack: Jumping the Flagpole

Plenty of other game magazines have shown you how to jump over the flagpole in Super Mario Bros. for the NES, but what do you do once you've achieved the one thing you've been dreaming about for all these years?

Only the vile servants of the Koopa turtle king would wander the fields of the once glorious Mushroom Kingdom without a map! That's why SHELPSHOT's hardworking Licensed Professional Video Game Counsellors have mastered the fine art of video game cartography.

Study the map below very carefully. That way, when you're ready to jump over the flagpole yourself, you'll know what's in store for you.

Please note: this map has been truncated for space reasons.

Letters Time!: Calm at Snowpeak

Dear SHELPSHOT,

I read your magazine all the time! My name is Ashley and one day I hope to write about the greatest and latest games too! I play games with my older brother Mike and usually tell him how to solve all the puzzles. We mostly like Xexyz and Harvest Moon, but our absolute favourite is the Legend of Zelda series. We’ve played every Legend for every system there is except for the ones on the GameBoy Colour. Every year, we go back and play through an old one just because they are just that good!

This last year, I found something while playing The Twilight Princess Zelda that I thought I should tell you about, since your magazine likes secrets and I think that this one is a doozy. My brother was busy at school, so I was playing on my own and got up to the Snowpeak ruins. I was just about to continue on with a quest when I moved to the edge of the mountain and the way the camera turned surprised me. I was shocked that I could see out over the mountainous horizon! 

Even though I played this game with Mike a bunch of times before he had never stopped to look out over the mountains like this. I had a quiet moment of reflection not just on the story of the Twilight Princess game, or really any other games I’ve played; but I reflected on the analogues of all games I’ve experienced with the life I’ve lived and the people I’ve lived it with. It felt like, for one moment, that I was really alone at the apex of the snowpeak, and that the mountain range I looked out over was made up of a myriad of possible pasts and futures--most of which I would never experience, but many of which I had the sudden understanding of how they were directly possible to achieve. I could almost plot a path across the pixels to some utopia of existence I had always suspected was there, but that I had never dreamed to know. There, atop the snowpeak, I felt my humanity laid bare--as though I were both completely empty and a compounded vessel of all things in the universe, simultaneously.

When Mike got home I showed him the level but couldn’t articulate the feeling very accurately. We kept playing though and beat the game in only one more sitting! Can your Expert Game Counselors replicate this secret? I’ve tried it again since, but the feeling is not as intense and seems fleeting. I’m going to try not to play the Twilight Princess again for a few years, and maybe when I finally go back through it, it will feel new and strange again! Love the new Magazine!

Ashley Megan Hill
Melbourne, VIC

Dear Ashley: 

Good find! After a mini marathon of gaming, the Licensed Professional Video Game Counsellors here at SHELPSHOT have been able to replicate your secret! We can confirm a drawn out sense of euphoric wholeness when taking pause at the Snowpeak in Twilight Princess.  

The presence of moments of protracted melancholy or rapturous reflection can become pronounced around particular portions of certain games, creating unintended anchoring points that provide an influx of insight into the unconscious mind! Taking a fifteen minute break every hour is a good way to minimize this effect, which comes about through a state of mind similar to lucid dreaming.  

These pockets of epiphany usually come in the quiet moments after a particularly dark dungeon or in the calm quiet right before a new leg of a journey. The nature of intended actions in games actually integrates a sort of surrogate experience in your mind, so maybe you feel like you are in two places at once: on your sofa and on Snowpeak! Thanks for writing, and for the letter art!

Can you find other moments of elongated ephemera in your games library? Write in and let us know!

Creature Feature: The Cave of Monsters

On the surface, Bubble Bobble may seem like a cute game, but never forget that you are guiding prince brothers Bub and Bob through the Cave of Monsters! The two royal heroes have been turned into bubble breathing dragons and they find themselves in a mysterious cave labyrinth. The creatures they encounter there seem like friendly kittens, until Bub and Bob get close...

Fortunately, our Licensed Professional Video Game Counsellors, The Dentist Brothers have uncovered secret information about these abominations. If you hope to survive the Cave of Monsters and have a happy end, study the chart above, then learn about your foes below.

From the top left corner:

Clank-Clank - An automaton whose clockwork brain gives it dangerously benign orders to walk and dance forever.

Whale Head - A disembodied whale's head that searches in vain for its body. Legend has it that YOU have it, or so say the whisperings of your enemies!

Ghost Grab - A dark wizard who lurches forward in the darkness to tighten his magical grip on our heroes. Stop him before he stops you!

Hat - A flying, cursed hat.

Light Bulb - An enchanted lightbulb that uses its plug as a sort of spring. If he touches you, you're in for a nasty shock. Got any bright ideas?

Alien - It is possible that there are an infinite number of universes, inhabited by an infinite number of variations on the creatures we know. Alien is a Clank-Clank from a technologically superiour parallel dimension, so watch out for his laser beams. See to it that he never gets back through the inter-dimensional vortex!

Grungie - First discovered by Dentist Brother Jonah, little is known about the Grungie except that he lurks just out of the corner of your eye. Don't look!

Drunk - One of the most dangerous enemies in the game. He throws bottles of ketchup at you. Good thing he isn't bigger!

Moby Dick - an albino sperm whale that is obsessively pursued by Captain Ahab. Captain Ahab wants revenge on Moby Dick for taking his leg-- help him be avenged!