Hot Help: Snot a Problem

In Super Mario Brothers 3, the once wicked wizard toadstool has been priorly foiled and is still indentured to Super Mario and his younger brother Luigi. But the Super Mario Brothers haven't forgotten about his wicked ways just yet! The Super Mario Brothers still tend to punish the wizard with harmless pranks to keep him subservient while he pays for his crimes. Here is a super-gross one:

Before requisitioning one of the wizard toadstool's treasures from his fungal abode is the perfect time to strike! Enter the toadstool house while wielding an enchantment bestowed by a blooming flower fire. Pretend to throw a fireball inside the wizard's highly-flammable home. When he jumps in fear, Super Mario or his younger brother Luigi will instead hurl a super-booger at their once villainous acquaintance! Very funny Super Mucus Brothers! How long is that going to take to clean up?

(Special Tip! This secret taunt only works on the gamepak for the Nintendo Entertainment System. On the Nintendo All*Stars gamepak for the Super NES, the toadstool wizard has been up to his old treacherous tricks, so Super Mario and his younger brother Luigi will simply biff the weird wizard in the face if they get close enough while powered up. Give it a try!)

Letters Time: Massively Effective

Dear SHELPSHOT:

I am a 38 year old construction worker from Providence, RI. I also dabble in drawing a little, and my secret hope is to one day be hired to design a game pak instruction manual.

Anyway, I grew up reading SHELPSHOT, but this is the first time I've ever written a letter to you. My favorite game paks are Commander Keen: Goodbye Galaxy!, Mass Effect 1 and 3, and Angry Birds in Space.

Mass Effect is actually the reason I'm writing to you today. I usually work 12 hour days, then go home and play games for a while before going to bed. Around the time the first Mass Effect game came out, my boss moved me to a new construction site with a bunch of workers I didn't really know. No big deal, except that the new foreman made life miserable for all of the workers. He accused us of using drugs on site, even though I definitely tell people not to use drugs (not just for health reasons, but because it lowers your high scores). I was very unhappy, and I found myself feeling very lonely and out of place.

It was satisfying to go home to Mass Effect, exploring unfamiliar planets, and interacting with strange peoples. I wished I was more like Commander Shepherd in real life (except not a lady!)

Then one night, I was playing and I reached a high enough experience score to visit the Local Cluster. There was something about seeing my own little planet amidst the familiar sights of Sol and Luna that touched me deeply. After spending so much time in unfamiliar settings both at my day job and within the gamescape, I was almost moved to tears by something so simultaneously familiar and distant.

While I'm writing, there should be a Mass Effect game where Wrex can be commander of the Normandy. Wrex is the best!

Sincerely,

Gary Thompson
Providence, RI

Thanks for writing Gary! Wrex was unavailable for comment, but we'll make sure he sees your fantastic envelope artwork-- providing he doesn't try to eat it first! We agree, the Mass Effect series is wonderful, but doing drugs can seriously hurt even a professional game player's scores. Here's hoping your coworkers will soon realize that you can't zap all the Reapers if you're zapping your brain with dope. See you in the Local Cluster!

Creature Feature: Weird Woods

Many strange beings roam the role-playing world of Lunar: the Silver Star, and in this Creature Feature we're looking at one of the strangest grungies in all of Sega's CD System! Read on, brave adventurer!

The Weird Woods east of the village of Burg are... well, weird! This is because a witch once worked her Weirding wishes upon the blue waters that run through it, transforming nature itself into an ill force that is able to present an ultimate challenge early in an adventurer's journey! Actually, it was one of the labours of the soon-to-be-Dragonmaster Dyne to defeat the devious villain of the woods, though the magics of the Weirding Witch couldn't be fully undone. This zone stands as a boss-less dungeon best steered clear of until achieving higher mastery of your arts. And this is the reason why:

Yikes! This frightening baddie is Xombi Mud, made of a lost soul magically enchanted by dirt and waters, of which the Weird Woods have an unlimited supply. Be careful--this dirt-y dissenter can't be reasoned with and cares only for its next meal! Xombi Mud packs a powerful punch, and is able to climb out of any patch of mud at a whim making it efficient in the chase. Because it used to be a human body, it is followed by mutant flies expecting a meal of their own. Is it even possible for Alex of Burg overcome this mysterious foe? Or does defeat seem certain in the face of this Weirdest wanderer? Let us know if you've escaped from this mighty challenge!

Hot Help: Secret of the Sphinx

There's no doubt Bugs Bunny is one of the most beloved cartoon characters of all time, and what better way to celebrate his big fiftieth birthday than with the Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowout game pak for the NES? This wonderful game perfectly captures the incorrigible humour of the animated shorts with graphics so amazing, it's almost like playing a cartoon!

But if you get tired of playing funny tricks on Elmer and the gang, there are still many secrets hidden throughout the game's levels. For example, did you know about the Secret of the Sphinx in the desert level? 

Be warned! This is a great way to fool your friends or brother...

Just like the sphinxes scattered across Egypt in real life, the sphinxes in Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowout are mysterious and wonderful. Also, just like real sphinxes, they are easily broken with a hammer.

It's a well known fact that sphinxes always face the same direction in this game, so if you come across two sphinxes close together, use Bugs's magic hammer to destroy the middle portion. If you do it correctly, you can then call your brother into the room and tell him that you discovered an extra large sphinx in the game. Tell him that you had to destroy it to get the vegetables hidden below and show him the remains. Now watch as he tries to imagine the elongated statue that surely fell victim to your mighty hammer! 

Can you find all the areas in the game where this is possible? Are there more secrets you can uncover by smashing things with Bugs's magic hammer? Write in and tell us about it, and don't forget to include more of that amazing envelope art!

Hot Help: Wasteland Burial

The desert world of Fallout 3 isn’t only filled with mutated baddies and irradiated raiders; some souls are kind enough to lend a hand to your quest to save the Wasteland, while others still are simply innocent denizens of an unfriendly frontier. But what can be done when these allied adventures fall to untold terror or treachery? While we are sorry for your loss, when a friendly character is overcome by the challenge of the quest, there are no extra lives for them. Nevertheless, their bodies need not be left for desecration by feral ghouls, and rummaging marauders.

While the sun-scorched earth is difficult to dig, a grave alone is practically an invitation to desecration by disinterment by less respectful Wastelanders or other uncaring creatures. A pyre is more preferable for your pal, and guarantees an peaceful rest.

Follow these obsequies to pay your last respects:

1) Around dusk, neatly lay out the body on the nearest abandoned Corvega Atomic V8, which will act as the bier.

2) Surround the body with any items or objects significant to its person, and include a bottle of scotch or whiskey for libation. Pure water may also be more acceptable given the nature of its value.

3) From a safe distance, shoot the damaged shell of the Corvega with a small caliber pistol or precision rifle until the leaking fission core or the atomic drive engine ignites.

4) Back away slowly listening to the crackling dirge for your friend in the air of the ambient wasteland, before beholding the atomic explosion that scatters your comrade's cremains.

5) Stand stolidly, or cry for your fallen companion. After a brief moment of remembrance, exit the immediate area under cover of darkness, as the bright atomic blast will attract the attention of the surrounding Wasteland. 

Remember that death gives significance to life, and the act of dealing with our dead, either out of practical obligation or respectful remembrance, is an act of being human. If you can maintain your valiant humanity, even in the midst of defeating the most challenging baddies, then you are on your way to becoming the Champion of the Wasteland!

Hot Help: Scary Cacti Guy

Although Super Mario Brothers 2 is one of the most popular games for the Nintendo Entertainment System, there are still a lot of secrets waiting to be uncovered! For example, did you know the Living Cactus in desert levels such as World 2-1 have a terrible secret form? Follow the screenshots and instructions below to master this new foe...

Step 1: Find a Living Cactus in one of the desert levels. Watch out for the Hissers! They pack a powerful punch. Guide Super Mario away from their projectiles.

Step 2: Jump on top of the head of the Living Cactus. Important: Note his smiling face. Super Mario wears thick plumbing boots, so the dangerous spikes on the cacti (living or otherwise) can't hurt his feet. Use the 'B' key to pick up the Living Cactus's head. Super Mario also wears thick work gloves, so the spikes also can't hurt his hands.

Step 3: The terrifying change has already taken place! The Living Cactus's once smiling visage has been replaced with a brooding brow and sharp, poisonous teeth. How will you challenge this new foe? Write in and tell us!

Welcome to the New SHELPSHOT!

Well readers, here we are. An all new SHELPSHOT in an all new form!

We've been through a lot throughout the years. There's been a lot of changes, but one thing that will never change is SHELPSHOT's commitment to bringing you the hottest video game news, strategies for the newest video entertainment game paks.

Who else gives you most detailed screenshots of all the secret techniques? Only SHELPSHOT has the information you need to master every boss, complete every high score, and defeat all the video grungies waiting out there!

Get ready!